Q:I was scrolling through your blog and I saw the post regarding the type compatibility of people with inverted functions (I forget the actual terminology that you used, but it was referring to the compatibility between ISFP and INTP, Fi/Ti, etc.), and you asked if any of your followers had ever been in a relationship like this. Well here I am!

I'm an INFP (most likely) and I spent over two years in a relationship with an ISTP, and it was extremely frustrating. Not only was it riddled with misunderstandings, but due in part to our mutual passivity, it just wasn't dynamic. Our personalities stagnated, and neither of us really grew from the experience.

However, I don't think that my anecdote, for lack of a better word, can really be used as evidence either way, partly because this relationship occurred in our high school years, and some of the conflict arose from our own emotional issues (particularly my own). Also there is the slight possibility that at least one of us has been improperly typed due to the general inaccuracy of the tests that are available to the general public and his absence of Fi.

Another thing about this relationship is the fact that I somehow took on the role of the rational, independent one, while he was rather clingy and emotional. I've considered the possibility that he was actually an ISFP, but he never seemed to have much of a grasp of emotions, his or others.

Anonymous

Hey! Hey! Here they are!

I dated an ISTP in highschool. Having absolutely no functions in common, yet being drawn to their tertiary Ni (and they, your dominant Ne) is extremely frustrating. When speaking we’d both be interested in the perspective presented, yet, couldn’t understand the conclusions drawn about the perspective. And then we would spend the next 10 minutes trying to explain why our conclusions were better than the others.

No, I think your anecdote is just fine! It sounds very similar to my relationship with an ISTP, which would make sense because if you’re an INFP, the same functions would be interacting with each other.

Even with a lack of Fi, ISTPs can know themselves pretty well if they take the time. Introverted Thinking (Ti) lets them do some critical analysis and some deductive logic on themselves, compare what they’ve deduced with Extraverted Sensation (Se) to see if it’s concretely true, and sometimes, if well-adjusted, they use Introverted Intuition (Ni) to see themselves as the whole, and parts that they are.

This could be true, or perhaps being in a relationship with you kept him down in his lower to functions: Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This would be the two dominant functions of an INFJ, but since they are an ISTPs last two functions, it looks like a broken, poorly adjusted INFJ. This could explain the perceived “clingy and emotional” behavior.

- theideathief