Q:How common is ENFJ? Sometimes, I feel very alone and like no one else shares my values or goals. Is this typical?
PS- Thank you for answering everyone's questions! I absolutely love this blog, and my friends and I have loved figuring out what our types are.
It is very typical for iNtuitives, but more specifically, Ni dominants to feel alone. In the United States, the breakdown is roughly 75% S-type and 25% N-type. ENFJs are approximately 4% of the total population.
Only about 10% of the population is Ni (introverted iNtuition) dominant, while Se (extraverted sensation) dominants, Ni’s opposition, stand at about 33% of the population.
For comparison, Ne dominants are about 16% of the United states population and Si dominants are about 40%.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
- Dr. Carl Gustav Jung
Q:How about some fictional ENFJs?? :D
Shirley Bennett, Community
The White Queen, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland
Dr. James Wilson, House, MD
Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House, MD
Q:I am an ENFJ.... Is it odd that my two longest relationships have been with INTJ's
And one of them is someone I still love very, VERY much. He is still a HUGE part of my life, romantically and otherwise.
Odd? Hardly. You have a common function, Ni, and it is high. INTJs are pretty good boyfriends/girlfriends in general, because they’re so willing to perfect it, and are relentless in their problem solving.
They tend to be in fewer, albeit longer, relationships. That’s not to say that all types would consider an INTJ to be the perfect mate for them. (An ESFP would be out of that relationship very quickly, even if they may have been attracted by looks initially. I get that sometimes. They become interested in me… until I begin to speak. Then they run.)
I’ve mentioned before, my mother is an ENFJ, and we have a very understanding relationship. She said I was the easiest to raise. (Out of three: ENFP little sister and ESFJ littler brother.) Not surprising, there’s a functional explanation there. Ni in common. I had a lot of foresight as a child. She didn’t have to tell me what to do or not to do, because I understood why I shouldn’t do it, myself. (INFJs also have this in common with INTJs.)
I was lucky to be an N in an N dominated house growing up. Most Ns have to deal with the lonely fact that they’re so uncommon they’re the only one in their home.